The Background Story

Let me hit rewind and go back to November 2015. For those who have been in on this all along you likely already saw this.

We were in Honolulu from Nov 8-15 as Rita had a job at the base there (Pearl Harbor/Hickman) and opted to take us along. I walked 63 miles that week (per my Fitbit) counting the travel days and thought I was healthy.

I had a sinus infection and had opted not to go to the doc and was just sniffing salt water and waiting for it to resolve; seemed like it was over.

I initially noted my left leg felt heavy on Wednesday November 18 (after we were back) as I normally walked the dog 2.5 miles every morning but that day it took me the same time to walk 1.5 miles. That night I soaked the bed in sweat then hobbled out to the couch about 2am so as not to wake Rita as I felt like I was flopping around a lot trying to find a comfortable position.

I had intense pain in my left hip/buttock that seemed to radiate down my leg so we thought it was sciatica. I had to literally crawl to the bathroom

We saw our family doc and he put me on steroids and an anti inflammatory as he only was trying to address the pain.

Went to see another Dr (Bayer) in Greencastle on 11-23 and he said he thought I had a systemic infection. He sent me for blood work. I went the morning of the 24th for blood work.

Friends from church brought me a wheelchair the evening of Tuesday the 24th (and Paula works at the hospital). Once she saw me she insisted I consider the ER so we went to Wbo ER and they kept me til the next morning about 4am then I was sent by ambulance and spent 4 days in Chambersburg before another ambulance ride and 9 days in Hershey. ( I’ll leave out some details to save time)

Best guess is that the sinus infection caused the blood infection which went to endocarditis then I had two different abscesses that needed drained.  (Again leaving out lots of detail so this will be less pages)

It rattled me when an embolism went to my brain and made me partially blind in my left eye (but that resolved on its own in under an hour).  They did many tests on me but thankfully I was so out of it I only remember parts of it.

I left Hershey on 12-7-15 at 10pm; I was so glad to be going home.

Since being home it took much longer to get upright than I expected. I’m had to use a walker then transition to a cane but still had significant pain in my left paraspinal muscle where the main abscess was for many weeks. That pain kept me from putting much weight on my left leg so the walker was easier but more cumbersome.

Through all of this they had a prayer vigil for me at my church.  Many of our church family sent emails out to their friends at other churches and I was on prayer chains all over the world.  It was amazing (and quite humbling) to know that so many people would take the time to care for me and my family and take time to lift us up in prayer.

One morning while I was in Hershey the cardio team came in and the doc told me I was likely to need a heart valve replacement due to the infection.  At this point I was a lot more “with it” and it was the first time I experienced real fear during this ordeal.  Rita was with me the whole time I was in Hershey- she drove down every day but hadn’t gotten there yet that day.  As soon as she came in my room I told her about the cardio team and the heart valve replacement and how I was pretty jacked up thinking about it.  Rita simply said “We need to pray about this” and before we were even done praying the team came back and the story was changed to “you likely will never need a heart valve replacement we will just wait and see”.  God doesn’t always answer prayers like “right now” but it’s so awesome when he does.

I’m not sure where you and God are these days but I want you to know that God loves you so much that there is NOTHING you could ever do to make him love you more but even more amazing is that there is NOTHING you can ever do to make him love you any less.  God’s love is unconditional whereas us humans tend to like people that help us and are nice to us better than “those other people”.

Going through this is not something I would have chosen but as Rita and I prayed together we asked God to show us if there was something we were to learn from this ordeal.  Sometimes we go through things so we learn a lesson and sometimes we go through something so we can witness to others.

I never felt abandoned or alone even when nobody was with me.  It was almost like I could feel the prayers.

A good friend of mine was a Special Forces soldier and he got a brain tumor.  We talked at length as he and I were very very close.  Through his illness Georg ministered to so many people.  He said “we always talk about living like a Christian but some of us will have to show what it is like to die like a Christian”.  People asked him “Georg did you ever ask God why me?”  He smiled and said “No to the contrary I say, God why not me?”.  Georg lost his fight to the brain tumor but I guarantee he is in Heaven in the glory of God the Father where there is no pain and no more tears.

Georg was a man so he was not perfect but I have sought to mimic his model of “why not me”.  I’m not bragging at all I just wanted to say that I set out to be as nice to everyone at the hospitals as I would have been were I being filmed for a tv show.  It is amazing what you can do with kind words and a smile.

I was so sick it was over a week there where I didn’t even turn on my cell. It is amazing how your priorities change when your life is in the balance and I just wasn’t in need of my phone.  Later on in Hershey I would get awake about 5 am and be in for a long stretch of alone time.  This was a great time to pray and being a huge Casting Crowns fan I would listen to them and other Praise music to pass the time and feed my spirit.  I really had this song speak to me as it says “your life’s not falling apart it’s falling into place”.  The lyrics are on the screen but you will likely hear them clearly enough.  These lyrics are SO powerful and may not be scripture but are AWESOME to me and brought me great comfort.

(There may be a little ad at the beginning when you play the video below but you can usually close it within a few seconds)

While I was lying in a hospital bed I kept thinking of my dad.  Only nine months before that he was in a hospital bed and it didn’t matter to him what house he lived in, what car he drove, or how much $$ was in the bank.  He only cared about the loved ones in his life that were around his bed (and the others farther away) and that he knew where he was going after he died.  He and I talked at length as I spent the entire night by his side. He’d slip off and sleep some then he’d wake up and look around then a big smile crossed his face when he saw me still there by his side.  It was the last night he remained conscious Sunday into Monday and he didn’t give up the fight til Wednesday the 25th.  I felt blessed to be there for him as he and mom have always been for us.

More recently (2/3) I went back to Hershey for another TEE.  A TEE allows the staff to film your heart from inside your esophagus as opposed to through your lungs as a typical echo would do thus the images are clearer.  I had a nurse named Annette and a doctor named Brandon.  They had done my TEE in November and I was impressed that they had noted angles etc so that this time they could set the machine up exactly as it had been months ago.  This made comparison of the films very easy.  I was impressed with their attention to detail.  Unfortunately this test showed that the endocarditis had actually eaten a hole through he wall of my heart.  This will require a complex surgery to fix it.

In this life we will meet with trials.  We can complain or we can make the best of every situation.  I’m doing my best to view this as an opportunity.  We are responsible for our reaction to any situation we find ourselves in, so we need to do our best.  Sometimes we can talk about trusting God… other times we need to do it.